Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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