I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
