It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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