Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
one two three fourrrrnication!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
