I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
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She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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