I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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