they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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