Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
