The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
