Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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