what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
