plz talk dirty to me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
