On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
