This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
