I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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