He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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