i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
