I'm lost and stupid without you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
