hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
