Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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