if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
