We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
