Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You are a genius and a whore.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize