If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
