Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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