after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
