Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
