guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
