So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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