put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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