is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
why is half of my head shaved?
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