"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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