id be glad to
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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