so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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