You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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