just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
