I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
