It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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