we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
