It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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