Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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