I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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