I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize