I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
