Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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