Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
