Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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