It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
