You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
