I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
