I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
