Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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