Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize