C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
