went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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