I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
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i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
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You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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