My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
