This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you never un-have a 4some
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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