I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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