So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
